randomness

Cancer sucks. 🙁

I wasn’t sure what to post today, but I knew I needed to post.

I had a nice text chat with my daughter. She reminded me that it’s unrealistic to be happy all the time and that being okay is okay, too.

I reminded her that healing is a life-long process, not something you do and finish, because there isn’t ever really a point where you say, “I’m healed.” Not emotionally, and not physically. Like cancer. Or like the dog bite from when she was four, the scar still visible for those who know where to look and what to look for. But she is still beautiful, even if the scars remain, even if the healing is never at 100%.

But speaking of being happy, I’m not very happy with the way this scene I’m writing is working out. Heshbon is giving me a hard time. I think I need to at least step away from this story for now. Let my head work it out some more. And then come back to it “fresh” tomorrow.

Out of boredom earlier this week, while waiting for something, I started playing this game on my phone called Zen Match. I like the game. I don’t like the affirmations at the beginning. “I’m stronger than my excuses” or some other inane phrase that’s supposed to make me feel better but just irks me. Although I have to admit the simple “I matter” it started with when I went back to the game today was much better. I wonder if it’s a new phrase every day?

This thing with the words, the phrases, of course, reminded me of a certain Airbnb in Nashville, the signs all taken down or turned around, the haunted crib, the locked door, using a knife vs a credit card, the murder on the property, and the tree with the lawnmower intertwined with its branches.

I think it’s time for this again.

Miss you, my friends! Thinking of you. ❤️

While looking for the lawnmower picture, which I couldn’t find, I got distracted by this picture taken at sunset near my mom’s house years ago. I guess this cloud spoke to me. It still does. I just wish I had a wider perspective of it.

Good night! Peace and love to you all.

3 Responses

  1. Your daughter definitely is wise. It’s always a wish, though, you know? To be past the point of still healing. But I’ve been trying to learn that it’s progress not perfection. Every day, be a little better than the day before. A journey of 1000 steps starts with one step. (More phrases for you! Hah!)

    Beautiful photo!!

    And yes, stepping away from the writing for a while sometimes will bring a fresh perspective. Hopefully, that cleared up for you! *hugs*

  2. Glad to hear of your text with your daughter. She is a wise young woman. The theme of always better, never healed is a true one, one that can be hideous or beautiful depending on one’s attitude. We don’t get a choice about many of the things that happen to us, but at least we get a choice about how to move past them. I love that choice, and I love that theme. I write about it (probably too) often.

    Stepping away when stuck in a scene is always a great idea, IMHO. t

    That is a lovely cloud. Hope your day it’s just as lovely as that cloud. Knowing you, I’m certain it will have a wider perspective. ❤

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