I wasn’t going to post. I don’t want to worry anyone, I don’t want to be a burden, I don’t want to get anyone else down. But that’s the irony, isn’t it? That’s all just my anxiety talking. So I am going to post.

Because I am in the throes of it at the moment. I’ll get through this, though. I will. It’s just going to be a tough couple of … I dunno how long. At least until Monday.

The court date is Monday. When the court date was still a ways off, it was easier. It just didn’t even feel real. Monday is real.

It’s not the only thing contributing to my anxiety, but it’s one of the big ones. And it seems like whenever there’s a big thing, all the little ones get louder, like they’re feeding off it. Work, parenting, writing, friends, family, covid, school, everything.

I’ll get through this.

I’ll make some bad decisions; I’ll try not to make too many. I’ll say things I’ll regret; I already have. But I will get through this.

Like there is a bright morning arriving after a dark night,
there will be a bright light shining on you when tomorrow arrives,
so don’t worry about a thing.
This is not a stop, but a pause for a brief rest in your life

BTS, Tomorrow
translation by doolset

Praying for that bright light. Praying that Monday goes well and that the dark night starts to end there and not begin. And knowing that either way, it’s not a stop. It’s just another hurdle and it can be overcome.

Wishing you all peace. Love.

6 Responses

  1. Super huge hugs. We’re your friends, and we want to share your burdens as well as your happiness. <3 You and T have been on my heart a lot over these past few weeks. I will be praying hard on Monday that everything goes as best as it possibly can. <3

  2. Deanna says:

    I have been thinking of you this week. I had the date in the back of my mind and felt it approaching too. Certainly in this situation anxiety is a normal emotion to be feeling. Your ability to identify that what you are feeling is because of the “throes of the moment” and your affirmation that it is something that can be overcome is both admirable and inspiring. It’s obviously one thing to know those things, and another to overcome the anxiety, and I empathize with you for having to sit in that space this week where you know one thing but totally are feeling another.

    Sending my best prayers and good thoughts your way, my friend. I have faith that the light and love that you send out here so often will come back for you.

  3. Mary N says:

    Lots of positive thoughts for you as you navigate this time!

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