randomness

It’s a new month. I didn’t remember Rabbit Rabbit. I never do. But it’s still a new month. A new beginning. Every day is a new beginning. Zero O’clock.

When I’m stressed, I fiddle around with my Rubik’s Cubes. Plural. I like making pretty patterns with the colors. The 4×4 still stumps me because I can’t wrap my head around how the “center” pieces rotate. I can solve it traditionally, a solid color on each side, but trying to make patterns is something I haven’t mastered yet because those center squares keep rotating. Not having a single center piece throws me off. Off-center. Off balance. This is why I like odd numbers better. There’s a center. So I’ll make pretty patterns with the 3×3 instead. This is my stress relief.

I’m either bloated or I’ve gained more weight. The pants that fit me last week don’t today. That may or may not have anything to do with the salted caramel chocolate bar I ate. It likely doesn’t, since (a) one candy bar shouldn’t make that much of a difference and (b) I only had 1/4 of the bar. It’s probably other bad food choices on top of stress on top of … everything?

I deleted two paragraphs from this post. I nearly deleted three. Things I’d like to say, but I’m afraid to. Small steps. I’m just human. Fallable. Imperfect. Beautiful.

Remember that. You’re beautiful. You. Whoever’s reading this. You are beautiful. And you are loved.

1 Response

  1. *hugs* I always find numbers to be very soothing. I know a lot of people get stressed by paying bills and whatnot, but I find writing checks and totaling the numbers always brings a sense of calm for me. Bringing a small bit of order to a world of chaos. Being able to control something in a world where it is hard to control anything.

    I like Rubik’s Cubes myself, but I’ve never been very good at them. My brother has a couple, but he doesn’t really play with them.

    And I feel you on the clothes that don’t fit. I keep putting off buying more clothes, even though I desperately need them, because I can never find ones that fit well and look good on me. And this from someone who just ate a Caramello bar. LOL! I sympathize and send hugs!

    And I hope you remember that you’re beautiful and loved, too. Because you are. *huge hugs*

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