I wasn’t going to post tonight.

I’m feeling like a failure as a mother, as a human. I keep wondering if I made different choices, if I’d been more strict, if …, if …, if …

Then maybe, just maybe, last night and today wouldn’t have happened. Not the way they did.

And then I talked to my daughters.

I love my daughters. More than anything. I love them. And in the midst of the drama that has transpired, I admire them so much. They are strong. They are courageous. They are beautiful.

The truth is, if I’d made different choices, if I’d been more strict, things might also have been so much worse.

There’s no way of knowing what might have happened, what could have happened, only what did happen.

What’s left are the choices we make to move forward.

So I am reminding myself that I need to accept myself, with all my patience, my strength, my courage, and also all my anxieties, my faults, all my mistakes, and everything else. The good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly, and everything in between, it’s who I am. Definitely not perfect. Lots of mistakes. And lots of love.

I love my daughters, they know that I love them, and that’s worth more than anything.

Wishing you all peace. Love you.

5 Responses

  1. Maryn says:

    You are strong, you are beautiful, you are a mother who loves her daughters above anything else. That love, and the open communication you have with them, will see all of you through whatever the situation is. Please know you have my very best wishes, thoughts, and prayers for all of you as you move forward <3.

  2. Maryn says:

    Whatever the issue may be, you are keeping the channels of communication open, and letting your daughter(s) know you love them and that will never change. I don’t think there is anything better or more appropriate for you to do as you move forward <3

    • viv s says:

      (((hugs))) Thank you. It’s so easy to love and accept my daughters, no matter what. It’s much harder to do so for myself.

  3. I don’t have a lot of words or advice, sweetie, but a lot of love and hugs. At the end of the day, you show up and you love them, no matter what. That means everything. That’s the best kind of mom. The kind you are. Sending all the support and love I can. My inbox is open if you need it. *hugs*

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